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Some Jamaican Books We'd Like to Read

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stumpedThe summer is here and there’s nothing better than spending a long hot day lazing on the beach reading a good book. Here are a few of the books we wish were on our summer reading list:

Where the Tunnels Really Are – Christopher Coke

Spicing up your life with Colour - Elephant Man

Famous for Not Being Famous – LA Lewis

Outing the Fire – Capleton

Bangarang Made Easy – Bruce Golding

Driving Miss Dudus – Rev. Al Miller

Tiger, Mad Cobra, Elephant Man, Red Rat, Hawkeye & Bling Dawg: Life in the Dancehall Jungle – Cat Coore

Drawing My Tongue: My Life in Party Politics – P. Simpson-Miller

101 Ways to Hold Dung & Tek: How to run a public utility company in Jamaica - The 2nd book in the bestselling thingsjamaicanslove.com “How To” Series of books.

What Official Secrets Act? – Rear Admiral Hardley Lewin

Winning Isn’t Everything – Asafa Powell

Winning is Easy – Usain Bolt

They Call Me Mr. Anancy - Carlos Hill

Runnin' Wid' It: Doing what it takes to win – Usain Bolt & Omar Davies

Who Moved My Cheese Trix? – Timmy Johnson (The Bestselling Children’s Book of 2010 by motivational speaker and 3rd Grader Timothy “Timmy” Johnson)

Advanced Lessons in Speaking in the 3rd Person - Vybz Kartel

How Many MP's Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb? – Kern Spencer

Chicken Foot Soup for the Soul – Tedroy “Teddy” Jackson (The underground bestseller by Jamaican roadside chef and philosopher Teddy Jackson)

Don’t Call Me Tarzan: The Lonely Bachelor’s Guide to Finding a Woman in Jamaica – The 3rd book in the bestselling thingsjamaicanslove.com “How To” Series of books.

A Fool and his Money - A winning combination! – Carlos Hill

Totally Stumped - The Windies Cricket Team

Sour Like… Overcoming re-branding mishaps – From the “Marketing Basics” Series of books.

How to Walk a Very Very Fine Line - Shebada

Where the money went - David Smith (The runaway bestseller of 2010!)


Disclaimer: The article above is meant purely for satirical, humorous/entertainment purposes and ought not to be construed in any other way.

 

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written by Nyree, October 12, 2010
That was hysterical ....
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written by yanique, August 28, 2010
this is soo funny and true i especially liked the ones about Bruce, Usain and Asafa.
i also think the West Indies Novel could be a bestseller.
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written by Wanda, August 13, 2010
lawd I can't tek it anymore!!! me can't stop laugh..maaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd
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written by Carmen, August 13, 2010
Current event titles and laugh-out-loud funny!smilies/grin.gif
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written by Vee, August 12, 2010
"Driving Miss Dudus" had me on the floor. Classic.

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The Full Scrolling List

Hot Guinness

Fred Sandford, George Jefferson and Mr. T

Being militantly homophobic

LOUD Dancehall music

Fat girls

The Death Penalty

Violent feuds between dancehall artists

Hardough bread

Bulla an pear

Michael Jackson

Pretending to embrace the rastafarian culture

Not locking off the dance at 2am

Cussing America while keeping green card in a vault

Having a 'link dung a warf'

Good weed

Tax avoidance

Inept Politicians

Good Hair

Any tonic/potion/drink that promises improved sexual performance

Bleaching

Rambo

Sending greetings from farin at Chrstmas time

West Indies Cricket Team and the Reggae Boyz... when they are winning...

Dances that only a few people know how to do

Praedial larceny

Beating a praedial larcenist

Beating thieves in general

Six-a-side football

Cell phones

White rum

Dominoes

Having the reputation for being the most violent people in the world

A good "kickers" (martial arts movie)

A barrel from farin at christmas time/easter/new years/labour day...

Rims, spoilers, loud mufflers and other things that usually cost more than the car itself...

Buying licence

Patties

Fried chicken with curry goat/stew beef/ox-tail gravy

Cass-Cass

Weave

Scandal bags

Hockey and saltfish

Cawn pork

Banana flitters

Unquestioning devotion to either of the 2 major political parties

Migration

Freenis

Stew chicken for breakfast

Hot Red Stripe for breakfast

Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday night street dance

Sky juice

Bag juice

Kisco pop

Souls (soul music)

Giving kids made-up names

Duppy Story

Nine Night

Country funerals

Goat feed

Banging pot covers at football matches/track meets/political rallies

Blocking roads

Demanding "Justice"

Cussing JPS

Tiefing light

Beating nations 20 times our size in a variety of sports

Jumping Fence

Threatening to apply "monkey lotion" on our female rivals

Hustling

Christmas breeze

Turning 20ft. shipping containers into homes, offices, restaurants and studios

Fry dumpling

Controversial radio talk show hosts

Sucking chicken bones after a meal

Running a boat

Milo

Horlicks

Disputes with family members about "Dead lef"

Devon House ice cream

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