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Ten signs your favourite Airline may be going out of business‏

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out-of-business
Dozens of drug-sniffing dogs at the Ft. Lauderdale airport are already out of work.

2. Among the items included in the in-flight shopping brochure are cologne, perfume and “a used A320”.

3. The complementary blanket given to you is marked ‘Property of Sandals’.

4. The flight attendant asks the passengers if they can help “mek up the gas money”.

5. Seating assignments are no longer enforced. In fact the person in your seat napping after you return from an extended stay in the bathroom looks a lot like the co-pilot.

6. Aside from customs and immigration forms, flight attendants are seen passing out forms detailing the items available in the upcoming ‘Airline Yard Sale’.


7. The in-flight movie is actually an old taped episode of Lime Tree Lane.


8. The wine in the refreshment cart has been replaced by the less costly ‘Suck-suck’ and ‘Icey-mint’.

9. The flight attendant relays new airline policy which states that fruit juice is still complementary but the cup will cost an extra $200.

10. Halfway through the flight, the pilot, in his cool, authoritative voice says, “…and to your left you can now see… awww who gives a $#@&*!”.

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The Full Scrolling List



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Fred Sandford, George Jefferson and Mr. T




Being militantly homophobic




LOUD Dancehall music




Fat girls




The Death Penalty




Violent feuds between dancehall artists




Hardough bread




Bulla an pear



Michael Jackson




Pretending to embrace the rastafarian culture




Not locking off the dance at 2am




Cussing America while keeping green card in a vault




Having a 'link dung a warf'




Good weed




Tax avoidance




Inept Politicians




Good Hair




Any tonic/potion/drink that promises improved sexual performance




Bleaching




Rambo




Sending greetings from farin at Chrstmas time







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Dances that only a few people know how to do




Praedial larceny




Beating a praedial larcenist




Beating thieves in general




Six-a-side football




Cell phones




White rum




Dominoes




Having the reputation for being the most violent people in the world




A good "kickers" (martial arts movie)




A barrel from farin at christmas time/easter/new years/labour day...




Rims, spoilers, loud mufflers and other things that usually cost more than the car itself...




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Patties




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Cawn pork




Banana flitters




Unquestioning devotion to either of the 2 major political parties




Migration




Freenis




Stew chicken for breakfast




Hot Red Stripe for breakfast




Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday night street dance




Sky juice




Bag juice




Kisco pop




Souls (soul music)




Giving kids made-up names




Duppy Story




Nine Night




Country funerals




Goat feed




Banging pot covers at football matches/track meets/political rallies




Blocking roads




Demanding "Justice"




Cussing JPS




Tiefing light




Beating nations 20 times our size in a variety of sports




Jumping Fence




Threatening to apply "monkey lotion" on our female rivals




Hustling




Christmas breeze




Turning 20ft. shipping containers into homes, offices, restaurants and studios




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